


spinning like a weathervane

by Mia_Zeklos



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Lack of Communication, M/M, PTSD, or rather; the consequences of it, to a disastrous degree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 18:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11811813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia_Zeklos/pseuds/Mia_Zeklos
Summary: Alec tries to get used to what is left in the aftermath of the war.





	spinning like a weathervane

**Author's Note:**

> The emotions from the finale are still high, as you might have noticed. This was written in the matter of about twenty minutes and I'm kind of in a hurry so please excuse any mistakes and I hope you enjoy it!

The electricity had gone off.

Out of all the frankly _ridiculous_ ways for Alec to find himself helpless, ending up in a storage room with no way out except for Isabelle’s hurried promise that she would get someone to open the door as soon as possible hadn’t even made it on the list of possibilities. It was admittedly a much preferable option to everything else he’d went through over the last few months, but it was still frustrating. Especially since...

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while.”

Especially since. Alec released the breath he’d been holding.

“It does, doesn’t it.”

Jace looked up from his phone. He’d been the one to call Izzy and he’d sounded perfectly fine when he’d talked to her, just like he had every minute of every day ever since the war had ended. Alec knew that he was supposed to feel that way too – after all, aside from quite a few not so minor changes, their lives had went back to the way they had been before. They had won. They were _fine_.

Until they _weren’t_.

He couldn’t tell what was wrong with Jace; not really. It was a muted sort of pain through their bond and it felt as if his parabatai was trying to draw his attention away from that every time they talked and it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before – they’d both tried to hide more than a few secrets from each other over the years – but now the thought was almost terrifying. After the time he’d spent unable to feel even a trace of Jace, short as it had been, Alec was painfully focused on every little flicker of emotion coming through their bond. It was irrational, he was more than aware of that, and he would never mention it to Jace, but it only increased now in the confined space they’d ended up in.

“You’re not claustrophobic, are you?” There was an edge of playfulness to Jace’s tone, his eyes glittering with amusement under the glare of the emergency lightning over their heads and somehow, it only made things worse. “I’m sure I would’ve been able to tell.”

“No.” Alec forced the word out and it felt almost like a lie. He wasn’t afraid, but he was still suffocating.

 _Irrational_ , he repeated to himself. If Jace had said that everything was all right, then it was. And if Alec still had to fight the panic every time his parabatai was even vaguely endangered, that didn’t have to be Jace’s burden to bear. It had been just the Institute’s alarm, by the Angel, and even if it had felt like something more for a moment, it _wasn’t_. If they were lucky, the dangers of the future would never be of the magnitude they’d experienced until now. And even if they were, he wouldn’t repeat the mistakes he’d already made and, more importantly, he wouldn’t let Jace out of his sight again.

And just like that, he was back to square one.

“Alec.” Jace’s voice was gentle; painfully, obviously tentative as if _he_ was the one who needed to be careful. “What is it?”

The constant dread that Jace seemed to be filled with these days despite his behaviour had abated for a moment, replaced by worry and Alec carefully schooled his expression from whatever had made Jace eye him the way he did. _I can’t reach you_ , he wanted to say, _not completely, and I’m afraid I’ll lose you again_. But it wouldn’t be fair, not after everything Jace had gone through, so Alec found it in himself to smile.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”


End file.
